The Angels Flight
by Calypso Diangelos
Summary: Sequel to 'If I let you Fly'. Believing that Jarod is gone forever, Miss. Parker thinks that her own freedom is lost to her. Will she fall deeper into the abyss? Or will love give her wings to fly free? Rating for language and minor theame. NEW CHAPTER
1. Angel

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The Angels Flight

By: Calypso

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Believing that Jarod is gone forever, Miss. Parker thinks that her own freedom is lost to her. Will she fall deeper into the abyss? Or will love give her wings to fly free? Sequel to 'If I let you Fly'

AN: Well, I liked _If I Let You Fly_ as it was, so I decided to write a little companion piece for those who wanted a happy ending instead of changing that one. However, if I don't hear that people *want* the ending to it, this sad little piece stays as it is. In case you can't tell by reading this, Ms. Parker is in her home sitting in front of her fire.

Is love always this impossible?

Always this painful?

How can I love that which I am meant to hate?

How do I trust a man that should be an Enemy?

You think these questions are tough?

You ought to try living my life for a few days.

If nothing else, I swear you'll be ready to kill someone.

Bitch, Ice Queen, Angel; The flames leap as I think each word

Each word that they whisper w at my back.

My father and his damned center.

The Trimutive, Lyle, even Angelo gives me that look sometimes.

That look of utter disdain.

They think I can't feel,

Think I don't care.

How wrong they are.

Yet what can I do but stand taller each time?

Pretend as if I don't notice, 

As if I'm not crumbling inside. 

As if I didn't die a little each time.

Vodka burns, funny how I need it so often now. Need it just so I can feel.

It used to be easier,

It used to be that however bad things got, I always knew I'd hear his voice again.

Yet never again will I hear his voice, never will I see his face, never will I catch a glimpse of his shadow.

It was my choice.

I chose to let him fly free

I chose to let the world do its worst.

I thought that they couldn't break me.

That I would stand tall and stand alone.

I thought I'd always stood alone.

Sydney understands me better, I think he sees more clearly than anyone why I hurt so badly.

I can't turn back from here. 

I choose my own cage and locked it with my own hand.

Yet I can't go forward either.

I haven't mother's strength,

I haven't Jarods ability to pretend,

I haven't Sydney's hope.

The only thing I have is a bleak future stretching beyond my sight,

A pain digging itself further into my heart.

Deeper into my mind.

I can't go on like this,

I can't keep dying inside.

I can't cry anymore than I can laugh.

And perhaps worst of all, I can't forget.

I love him.

And so I choose to let him live free.

I choose to give him the freedom that only one of us could have.

If I stay, I will always know that he's out there,

That I can't be near him because he didn't come back.

He'd be a fool to come back for me now.

Days, weeks, I think even Lyle is beginning to understand.

I think they realize now that Jarod is gone forever.

That this time he chose not to turn back.

Poor Sydney.

He would be my only regret, 

He's lost so much, Jacob, Jarod, and now me.

He doesn't show it, doesn't say it. 

But I know that he thinks of me as one of his children, in fact, that thought has kept me going more times than I can count.

When father wouldn't love me,

Wouldn't lend me the strength I needed.

I knew that he would.

I have no where to go, no where and no one to run too.

But that's not true.

I can't run physically, but a little Vodka… and perhaps some Aspirin…

Then I could run.

I could run into mother's arms at last, 

Into the darkness and peace that I can't have now.

So I think will go.

I think… that I will leave all of this behind.

And I've only one regret after all.

I love him,

And I never did tell him.

Jarod….

"I love you."


	2. Silence

AN: Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. The truth is that my computer died and that I had to reinstall my operation system. So, after all the pain that my computer has caused me, here is the second installment of Angel's Flight.

CH 2

Sydney's POV

I've forgotten my key again.

I guess my age is finally beginning to catch up to me.

Miss. Parker has a key. 

And even if her house is out of the way, it's better then going all the way back to the Centre.

She needs the company after all, - whether she likes it or not.

She's grown distant lately, pale and sorrowful. 

She's realized that Jarod is gone for good. I think Lyle's accepted that. 

I caught her looking at me the other day. Her eyes told me that she wanted to cry. As if her soul were about to shatter.

Even Debbie can't make her smile, no one can make her smile.

Even when she clutches Baby Parker tightly to her, she does so with tears in her eyes.

Odd.

I've never seen her house this brightly before. 

And she never leaves her doors unlocked.

"Miss. Parker?"

Silence.

Oh God…

I don't think she sees me. I'm not certain she sees anything. 

I've never seen her look so sad.

So alone.

She reminds me of Catharine sitting there, clutching herself. Rocking back and forth. 

Her eyes are fixed on something.

Dear God… Aspirin… and Vodka… 

At least they're on the table and not in her mouth.

She whispers something, something I can't hear.

"Miss Parker?"

She still doesn't see me, even though I've inserted myself between her and the table.

"Jarod?" Lord, but she sounds dejected.
    
    "No Miss Parker. It's me, Sydney remember?" I feel ridicules, I should have seen this coming.
    Yet I, the all seeing psychologist missed this completely.
    I suppose it's because se's always been so strong.
    Because she's always been Mr. Parker's daughter.
    

"Sydney?" For a moment recognition lights her eyes, that and tears.

"Sydney!" Before I can react, she's launched herself into my arms, crying her eyes out. "Help me?" I can barely make out the words.

I can barely believe that _she_ is asking for help.

I can barely believe just how badly she seems to be hurt.

It isn't just Jarod that caused this.

It's her father, and Lyle, and her mother. 

She's dying from years of being chained and locked away.

For the first time, her walls are beginning to crumble.

And now she doesn't know how to survive.

Bastards.

I've hated Raines, hated the Centre for a long time now.

It's destroyed so many parts of my life, Jacob, Catharine, Jarod. Now her as well.

Sometimes I wonder how I have survived.

"Cry." I don't know why I say this, don't know why I would recommend it. 

Except that I know Mr. Parker wouldn't.

"Cry as much as you need to." She clutches me tighter, but her tears have begun to die down. 

Yet her sorrow hasn't. She stops crying not because she stopped feeling, but because she has no more tears. For the pain in her heart is there. 

The abyss in her soul only grows wider.

She sniffles, draws away from me. 

Her eyes are red, and yet her face is still deathly pale. Grim and old in the fire light. 

"Sit down - ." I want to say her name, but that might put her into shock. Ms. Parker is too formal. Perhaps I'll just let it be. 

"Perhaps I should get some tea." I rise, her eyes are focused now, alert. She nods.

When I return, I hand her a cup of the warm soothing liquid. 

Knowing before she even puts it to her lips that she won't taste it.

"Thank you." Again she is whispering. 

She shouldn't speak. Doesn't need to.

I understand well enough.

Silence is a good companion, and just now it's the one she needs.

But I'll stay too. 

I'll stay so that silence isn't her only companion.

I'll stay so that she doesn't stop feeling.

So that just maybe, she'll be alright.


End file.
